Music Critic break/doWn | Eminem Without Me

Eminem

 

Without Me

from the album: The Eminem Show

released: 05.26.02

 

break/doWn

translating the hits for the masses

by: the munk

 

Eminem has long been the reigning king of naughtiness - ever since the release of The Slim Shady LP, the world has all but forgotten about the shock of Marilyn Manson - Shady took the spotlight. Now the king of controversy is back with a new #1 album and a new single to usher in his return. But is he really all that bad? Take a look at our translation of his lyrics to decide for yourself...

Original Lyrics

[Intro; Obie Trice]

Obie Trice. Real Name, No Gimmicks.

[Intro 1 (2x)]

Two trailer park girls go round the outside, 

Round the outside, round the outside..

[Intro 2]

Guess who's back, back again 

Shady's back, tell a friend 

Guess who's back, guess who's back, 

Guess who's back. Guess who's back;

[Verse 1]

I created a monster, cuz nobody wants to 

See Marshall no more they want Shady 

I'm chopped liver.

Well if you want Shady, then this is what I'll give ya. 

A little bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor.

Some vodka that will jumpstart my heart quicker

Than a shock when I get shocked at the hospital.

By the Dr. when I'm not cooperating 

When I'm rocking the table while he's operating "Hey" 

You waited this long to stop debating 

Cuz I'm back, I'm on the rag and ovulating

I know you got a job Ms. Cheney 

But your husband's heart problem is complicated 

So the FCC won't let me be 

Or let me be me so let me see 

They tried to shut me down on MTV 

But it feels so empty without me 

So come on and dip, bum on your lips, 'Fuck That!

Cum on your lips and some on your tits

And get ready cuz this is about to get heavy

I just settled all my lawsuits, "Fuck you, Debbie !!"

[Chorus 2x]

Now this looks like a job for me 

So everybody just follow me 

Cuz we need a little controversy 

Cuz it feels so empty without me..

[Verse 2]

Little hellions kids feeling rebellious 

Embarrassed, their parents still listen to Elvis

They start feeling like prisoners helpless

'Til someone comes along on a mission and yells "BITCH" 

A visionary, vision is scary, could start a revolution

Pollutin' the air waves a rebel 

So let me just revel and bask

In the fact that I got everyone kissing my ass 

And it's a disaster such a catastrophe 

For you to see so damn much of my ass you ask for me 

Well I'm back (batman sound) fix your bent antennae 

Tune it in and then I'm gonna enter 

Into the front of your skin like a splinter 

The center of attention back for the winter 

I'm interesting, the best thing since wrestling 

Infesting in your kids ears and nesting 

Testing "Attention Please" 

Feel the tension soon as someone mentions me 

Here's my 10 cents my 2 cents is free 

A nuisance, who sent, you sent for me..

[Chorus 2x]

[Verse 3]

A tisk-it a task-it, 

I go tit for tat with anybody who's talking this and that shit

Chris Kirkpatrick, you can get your ass kicked 

Worse than them little Limp Bizkit bastards

And Moby, you can get stomped by Obie

You 36 year old bald headed fag blow me 

You don't know me, you're too old 

Let it go its over, nobody listens to techno 

Now lets go, just give me the signal 

I'll be there with a whole list full of new insults 

I've been dope, suspenseful with a pencil 

Ever since Prince turned himself into a symbol

But sometimes man it just seems

Everybody only wants to dis-cuss me

So this must mean I'm dis-gusting

But it's just me I'm just obscene 

Though I'm not the first king of controversy 

I am the worst thing since Elvis Presley

To do Black Music so selfishly 

And use it to get myself wealthy 

"Hey" there's a concept that works 

20 million other white rappers emerge 

But no matter how many fish in the sea 

It will be so empty without me..

[Chorus 2x]

broken/doWn

[Intro; Obie Trice]

YES! That is my real name. Why would I lie to you???

[Intro 1 (2x)]

Two young ladies who live in a doublewide run around their tin home again, and again, and again.

[Intro 2]

Just when you thought it was safe to turn on your radio, I came out with another song

That's right, I'm back. Warn your friends!

[Verse 1]

When I first came out with my all too familiar anthem of angst, I had no idea what I was getting into.

Shockingly enough, I can't be looked at as a serious recording artist. Instead the public wants to see more of my alter ego, Slim Shady. 

Who am I to deny the public of what they want?

But first I have to indulge in some narcotics

Perhaps a bit of alcohol will get me going faster

Than when I receive an electric stimulus

By a doctor who's trying to keep me alive while I'm resisting treatment

In the operating room I'm moving around why the surgeon is slicing me open

But now you can stop wondering if I'm dead

I'm actually far from it-and guess what, I'm ready for a fight

I know you have a job to do Ms. Cheney

But Dick's cardiovascular disease is not clear-cut

The federal communication commission won't let me express myself 

Without being censored so let's take inventory 

MTV won't even let me exercise my first amendment right (hypocrites)

But without someone constantly exploiting himself or herself what do they have?

They insist that you come down to the studio and kiss some ass on TRL - hey obviously don't know who I am.

I'm not really sure on what to say next, so I'll briefly mention ejaculatory fluid on various parts of the female anatomy.

Brace yourselves; I'm about to get deep on you...

I just recently settled out of court with my own mama on charges of defacing her character. Screw you mom!

[Chorus 2x]

Move out of the way;

Im here to once again announce my delusions of grandeur.

Because as Americans you don't have enough to talk about as it is.

How could you when I'm not in the news?

[Verse 2]

Spoiled teenagers feeling like they should be rebellious,

Shameful their parents still listen to the oldies station on the radio,

They start to feel as though they are under the constant eye of society.

But then one day along comes a guy writing music and using profanity.

Frightening, as it may seem, I could start societal coup

Me - a guy who says the stuff that people are thinking

Sometimes I want to just sit back and enjoy the attention I get.

People actually sucking up to me.

Some people believe that it's unfortunate

That I'm so popular - but it's their kids that are wanting to hear more from me.

So here I am - fix your radio so you can hear my songs.

Turn on your local popular station and sure enough you will hear me on the airwaves.

I will get under your skin with my catchy lyrics

And you get to enjoy my music all winter long.

I'm someone that has something of interest to those around me, kind of like the WWE.

I throw out ideas that your children find fascinating. 

As soon as my name is brought up everyone has an opinion.

But here's my perspective:

I might be a nuisance, but you're the ones that wanted to hear my music again.

[Chorus 2x]

[Verse 3]

So the haters talk about me

But I will go to battle with anyone talking smack,

Like that absurd Chris Kirkpatrick from N'Sync.

He is worse than those kids that listen to Limp Bizkit.

Or Moby who easily could get beaten by my friend and colleague Obie Trice.

You are a homosexual thirty-something schmuck 

And you disrespect me when you don't even know me.

You should just let go of the past; no one listens to techno music anymore.

But if you want to have another confrontation, believe me I will be there

With more hurtful words to humiliate you.

I have been around longer than you know,

Ever since the artist formerly know as Prince changed his name to the unpronounceable symbol.

Sometimes it seems as though some people 

Solely want to discuss my lyrics and behavior.

To them it seems that I am a horrible person

But I'm only being true to myself.

And although I might not be the most talked about person in the public eye,

I certainly am the most controversial personality since Elvis.

Some think that it's wrong to produce hip-hop music 

Only to make money

Wow, what a concept....(isn't that what it's all about???).

Now all of a sudden there are white hip hop artists coming out of the woodwork.

But no matter how many there are,

If I were to step out of the spotlight you all would want me back.

[Chorus 2x]

Note: Lyrics in break/doWns are not necessarily 100% accurate.