Album Review: Come With Me If You Want to Live by Goblin Cock

Goblin Cock is like a GWAR that retains its sense of humor and can actually write good songs. Come With Me if You Want to Live features a slew of tunes with joke titles, but they nevertheless rock and hard and sludgy and stand up to much more serious fare in the same genre. And who can go wrong with the mighty guitar work of Bane Ass-Pounder? Or the sturdy vocals of Goblin Cock himself, with the occasional help from Loki Sinjuggler on keys? Actually, this is all in good fun and delevered through the vision of Pinback’s Rob Crow, who at first seemed to intend this project to be a one-off goof.

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You would be hard-pressed to find a band with a more eyebrow-raising name than Goblin Cock, and since the project is a Rob Crow side project rather than a real band per se, one would suspect from the D&D album art and credited pseudonyms (Lord Phallus, Bane Ass-Pounder, King Sith Braindeath, and Loki Sinjuggler) that it's merely a spoof on death metal. Well, that's half true. The band is satirical in concept, but the execution of the music is authentic, unadulterated "rawk" of the truest kind.

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Contrary to what your memory may tell you, Goblin Cock is not the band the kid in The Gate was listening to when he inadvertently opened a porthole to the netherworld in his backyard—that was actually Sacrifyx. I can’t tell you what Sacrifyx records currently fetch on eBay because I’m 99% sure Sacrifyx never existed in our non-cinematic realm. Goblin Cock, on the other hand, is startlingly real, one of the many side projects helmed by Pinback frontman Rob Crow.

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