My First Album

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!
by: peter naldrett

The proof is there in her squeaky voice, it's in her girlie pig-tails, her teen pin-up pics and the childish title of "My First Album". The marketing people wanted to create a school-girl pop idol who can perfectly mirror the kids in the classrooms. But considering that we live in an age when children of foetus age are giving birth, we might the content of "Kiss Kiss Boom Boom" and "Internet Love" a little worrying.

Nevertheless, the craziest thing is that the manufactured star Lolly and her carelessly crafted pop IS actually successful. Kids have taken the bait, and the hits Viva La Radio and cover-from-Hell Mickey sailed into the charts and stayed there for a few weeks too long. There is a repetitive bass line that runs through these and all other album tracks, and not even the setting of the synth has been altered for most of them.

This is Aqua without the irony. This is drinking cola with a straw in front of your friends.

And if you are in any doubt about how tacky and cheesy My First Album is, just consider the immaturity of adding tracks 11-20 as karaoke versions - exact instrumentals of tracks 1-10.

You have been warned.